TWICE IN TWO DAYS?!

Can it be? Could you be so lucky? Could there actually be TWO updates in the same number of days? Yes, yes and would ya believe it YES!!

Firstly, I feel I have to share this with you, something I was emailed earlier this morning (it is a quarter to five after all!) It is something I think we can all relate to in one way or another, and I have added some of my own humour/mirth/stupidity/call it what you will to it:

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

Yes, because I regularly turn the dial 18 notches right, 6 left, and then 9 right again, and nuke my crappy Morrisons micro-curry into the next millenium

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

True, but then again, I haven't played solitaire in any of it's forms in a long time! There are far more entertaining games available on the Wonderfully Wicked World Wide Web of Wonder, like Blast Billiards... ayy m'dear (you know who you are!)

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

I have one number, and one number only to reach my family of three... but then there are a number of email addresses, and if we include a certain someone, I just checked and had 5 numbers in my phone for Shiv.... you never know when you might need them!

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

The closest desk to this one, is the boardroom... with no computer... closest after that is the helpdesk monkey's and I never email him!

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

or phones, or pagers, or beepers, or letterboxes, or addresses... all my friends and family live in trees or fields... "baaaaahhhhhhh"

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

This is where it started annoying me, "driveway" "cell phone" "groceries"? Bloody yankisms... I can't think of an alternative to "driveway" (it's late) but it would be my "mobile phone" (why cell phone anyways... I am confused) and "the shopping." No-one shops at a grocers any more... least of all calls their shopping "the groceries"...

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

Every "advert" may... and why the hell not? Double advertising, increasing product exposure, and maximising opportunities for sales by advertising your online shop at the same time!

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

I actually left the house for quite a while the other day without my phone... That could be because the heap of junk will die on me if I make/receive a call lasting more than 30 bloody seconds.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

I have no net connection at home... so nerrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

Nope, never done it, doubt I ever will.

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

On occasions chuckling at my own wicked wit...

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

Forward? Forward? Why forward this to a few collegues when I can post it on the Wickedly Wonderful World Wide interWebby and release the "humour" (note the U!!!) to the whole universe!!!

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

I admit it, when I first read it, no, I never noticed there was no 9... because the actual numbers are pointless and can just be skipped!

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

Nope, didn't, I believed the list... and you can't prove otherwise

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

At myself? AT MYSELF? Never!

As I said in point 8, my phone is gay and dying, so if anyone wants to donate to the "let's get andy a new mobile" fund, or recommend a decent mobile that won't be too expensive, maybe on a PAYG contract that I could get whilst I'm over in UK, please let me know...

Ohh, and a bit of techy stuff, I've finally found out how to put a video/mp3 on the blog, so here ya go:



"Just a one fingered victory salute" ayy? The kind you mentally give all the families of the soldiers who have died for your greedy profiteering benefit? George W. Bush... I give you that "one fingered salute" right back...

...with a couple of clips of Bushy boy making a mockery of himself:

022608122005

Was it laziness? How about bone fucking idleness? Was it just plain lack of ideas and/or motivation? Or, a combination of all of the above? Personally, I don't know why I haven't added anything to my blog in so long, maybe I've just had too much other random junk on my mind.

So, what has happened in the last... how long has it been:

The duration is 53 days, 20 hours, 4 minutes and 5 seconds
Or 1 month, 22 days, 20 hours, 4 minutes, 5 seconds

according to this calculator

Well, the new rugby season has started, we have only had one win and a draw so far since being promoted to the first division, but hey, we are keeping at it... though some of the losses really shouldn't have been! This site hasn't been updated in quite a while, but I have heard a new one is being constructed as we speak and should be up soon enough.

Along with a few aches and pains, flu/cold etc, I've only had a few minor headaches, bar one 3 day long migraine last weekend, which still wasn't as bad as some of the previous ones. I have however done something rather nasty to my right knee. I don't know if it is ligament damage, or if I have just twisted it or something, but I have this nasty swollen area around the bottom of it, which wierdly isn't sore to touch. Any ideas? Aside from the usual go see the doctor!!!
I try and keep as far away from the bloody health centre as possible, only earlier today was I discussing the bloody place, and the fact that I may need to go there soon to get my new E111. This will involve queuing up for half an hour to an hour, before being told that I need to get the form from Desk 87b in Room ZZQBD in sector 69 on the 87th floor. After the 3 hour queue in that room, acquiring said form, and returning to the original desk, form complete, I will then be told that the form will need to be stamped by the official stamp gnome who stands in the corner by the dental higeine area, on the 2nd Thursday of every even month, but only during a leap year...

You get my drift...

I also, somehow (don't ask) managed to fabricate this wonderful piece of artsy-craftsy-ness:



Shivvers decided she wanted a home made advent calendar this year (hmm....) so 1 tub of UHUUUUUUUUU Glue, 2 pieces of card (one yellow, one green), 24 glittery Christmas cards (each with a loving message... I know, I'm a softy at heart) some glitter glue, some gold and starry ribbon and some BLOOD SWEAT AND FREAKING TEARS LATER, it was done, with about 8 hours to go till the 1st of December!

Today, or yesterday, depending on how you look at it, I went for my first proper driving lesson, with a qualified instructor. The guy used to be one of the examiners here, so unsupprisingly, practically zero percent of his students fail when they take their test. Which brings me to my NEW YEARS RESOLUTION (might as well get it out of the way now, in case I go MIA for another 2 months again.) I WILL PASS MY DRIVING TEST THIS COMING YEAR, 2006, AND GET A FREAKING CAR!! I did the 3 point turn first go with no problems, and parked on flat in both directions with no probs either. Hill parking though, I kinda over-revved and went bumpity into the curb... never mind. Not driven in ages and ages... I was over all rather impressed with my performance.

It is now 030208122005 and I suppose I might go and get a coffee... yes, I have started drinking coffee, it doesn't taste half as bad as it smells, and I kinda like it. And anyways, I need a new vice seeing as I have only had 1 beer and 2 cans of cider (both of which I shared with the gorgeous Miss Myles) in the last month! Caffeine is your friend:



PS. 13 days till we fly to UK for our Crimbo hols... I hope it's a white Xmas this year... can't wait! :D